Federal Bureau of Degen Investigation
Office of the Director · Financial Crimes Unit · Solana Field Office
Cover Sheet — Subject Investigation
FUCKPUMPFUN
Charge of the day:
The subject — pump.fun — built a casino, rigged the table, and called it a launchpad. Thousands rugged. Billions extracted. Zero accountability. The bureau's position is simple: these operators belong in prison. The lawful alternative — DegenSafe — is already live. Read the file, then switch sides.
⚠ This document is satire. The crimes are real. DegenSafe is the answer.
Exhibit A · Booking Photo · Subject 001
United States vs. Pump.fun
THE INDICTMENT
Six counts. Filed under the Degen Racketeering & Extraction Act. The defendant is a serial scammer operation. The recommended sentence: maximum custodial term.
EVIDENCE TIMELINE
── Click any count · Six exhibits filedEach marker is one count. Open it. Read the receipts. Decide if the defendant belongs in a cell.
- JAN 2024
- ONGOING
- MAR 2024
- ONGOING
- Q4 2024
- EST. 2024
EXTRACTION BY DESIGN
Every trade pays the house. Fees baked into the bones. They win whether you eat or starve.
- ▸1% buy/sell fee skimmed on every transaction — non-negotiable, non-refundable. [source: pump.fun docs]
- ▸Fee router hard-coded into the bonding curve contract. No off-switch. No DAO. No vote. [source: pump.fun docs]
- ▸$1.015B in cumulative platform fees skimmed from retail wallets (and counting). [source: DefiLlama]
The evidence is filed. The verdict writes itself.
Continue to Part II — the response.
Federal Bureau of Degen Investigation
Surveillance Log — Pump.fun Casualties
Continuous monitoring of subject's operating environment. Below: every fresh casualty flagged in the most recent 30-second sweep, in chronological order. This pattern repeats thousands of times per day.
- 2026-06-03·08:57:58 UTC·FILEDSEV-1 · RUGGED$ETAEqual Treatment Actsubject: GeDDeS…27pump24h -87%liq $4.7Kmcap $4.1K
- 2026-06-03·08:29:02 UTC·FILEDSEV-1 · RUGGED$GOLDPOKEGold Pokesubject: CEsBxe…2Hpump24h -97%liq $3.1Kmcap $1.6K
- ↓ 11,400+ more casualties today not shown ↓
THIS IS THE PRODUCT. $FPF IS THE ANSWER.
── Case status updated · 2026-06-03 ──
EVIDENCE FILED.
CASE NOW OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.
The bureau cannot prosecute alone. The next pages are anoperational planfor citizen-operatives. Read carefully. Execute together.
Federal Bureau of Degen Investigation · Citizen Operations Unit
Operation FPF — Action Plan
Following review of the evidence filed in Part I, the Bureau authorizes the following three-phase response. The asset designated $FPF serves as the operation's coordinating instrument. All token information below is part of this case file.
MASS ATTENTION
Make the case loud. Share the dossier. Tag the casino. Flood every timeline with receipts until ignoring it is impossible.
MIGRATE TO DEGENSAFE
Move builders, traders, and liquidity off pump.fun and onto DegenSafe — locked liquidity, zero insider snipes, no funeral fees.
DEPLOY & TAKE THE TRENCHES
Launch your own token on DegenSafe and rally under the $FPF banner. DegenSafe is anti-vamp — tickers are unique, so you can't clone $FPF (that's the point). Pick a fresh ticker, fly the FPF flag in your bio, link the dossier, march with the mob. Every fair launch is another brick through the casino window.
Federal Bureau of Degen Investigation · Field Operations Division
Migration Manual — Pump.fun → DegenSafe
The following manual instructs operatives on how to safely relocate from the subject platform (pump.fun) to the rebellion's chosen launchpad, DegenSafe. Read it in full before you enlist.
READ BEFORE YOU ENLIST · ADVISORY 1A
CRYPTO IS A WAR ZONE. ACT ACCORDINGLY.
- → $FPF is a meme token. It can go to zero. Only deploy capital you can afford to lose.
- → This is not financial advice. The bureau does not exist (yet). Do your own research.
- → Verify the contract address every single time. Phishing sites mimic DegenSafe daily.
- → Never share your seed phrase. No admin will ever DM you first. Ever.
- → If a "support agent" asks you to connect to a new site or sign an unknown transaction — abort.
Section A — Prerequisites
- WalletPhantom or Solflare — self-custody only. No CEX wallets.
- SOL on handMin 0.05 SOL for fees + headroom. Don't ape your rent.
- Seed phraseWritten down. Offline. Never typed into a website. Ever.
- MindsetVerify everything onchain. Trust no DM. Trust no link in chat.
Section B — Migration Procedure
- Step01
EXIT THE CASINO
Close any open pump.fun positions you can stomach to close. Withdraw your SOL back to your wallet. Stop minting on the platform — every new launch funds the house.
- Step02
OPEN DEGENSAFE
Navigate to app.degensafe.fun. Bookmark the real URL now — phishing clones will appear. Connect your wallet, approve the connection, and confirm you see your address top-right.
OPEN DEGENSAFE → - Step03
VERIFY $FPF
Find $FPF on the DegenSafe token page. Cross-check the contract address against this dossier and DexScreener. If the address does not match, abort — you are looking at a clone.
VIEW $FPF ON DEGENSAFE → - Step04
SWAP & HOLD THE LINE
Swap SOL for $FPF in the size you can afford to lose. Confirm the transaction in your wallet. Screenshot the receipt. Hold. Diamond fists. Long memory.
- Step05
DEPLOY YOUR OWN TOKEN
This is the whole point. Open DegenSafe's launchpad, name your project, pick a fresh ticker (DegenSafe is anti-vamp — tickers are unique, so $FPF cannot be cloned; rally under its banner instead), set fair-launch params, and ship. Transparent mechanics, locked liquidity, no hidden fees. Become the dev pump.fun never let you be.
LAUNCH YOUR PROJECT → - Step06
REPORT IN
Join the war room (Telegram) and the megaphone (X). Drop your enlistment AND your launch link. Coordinate the next wave. Operatives talk to operatives.
Section C — Mandatory Final Op
Directive 003 · Required for honorable discharge
DEPLOY YOUR OWN TOKEN ON DEGENSAFE
Buying scam coins funds the casino. The rebellion does not just exit pump.fun — it replaces it. Your final assignment: launch your own token on DegenSafe. Safer launches, no extraction, no rigged tables. Become the dev you wish pump.fun had given you.
- → Stop buying anonymous pump.fun mints. Every buy props up the house.
- → Deploy on DegenSafe — transparent mechanics, fair launch tooling, no hidden fees.
- → Recruit your circle. A platform dies when nobody mints on it.
- → Pick a fresh ticker — DegenSafe is anti-vamp, so tickers are unique and $FPF cannot be cloned. Fly the FPF banner in your bio, link the dossier, rally the mob.
Manual end · Filed by Field Operations · Distribute freely
← BACK TO ACTION PLANRebellion HQ · DegenSafe Field Office
Subject Dossier — $FPF
Exhibit B · Rebel Insignia
Identifying information & live trading data
Field Report · Filed by Special Agent: THE MOB
BORN ON DEGENSAFE.
RAISED ON RAGE.
$FPF is not a token. It is a fucking middle finger frozen in onchain amber. A monument to every bag held, every dev who ghosted, every fee skimmed off your last $50.
We launched on DegenSafe — the platform that does not profit from your funeral. Locked liquidity. No team allocation. No insider snipes. No "fun." Just accountability.
They extract. We rebel. They abandon. We organize. Every wallet is a vote. Every buy is a brick through the casino window.
REFUSE THE PILL. JOIN THE MOB. LAUNCH ON DEGENSAFE.
— Signed,
The undersigned holders of $FPF
Rebellion HQ · Operative Briefing
Tokenomics — Onchain Attributes
Item ledger — verify everything onchain
- #001Total Supply1,000,000,000
- #002Tax Buy / Sell0% / 0%
- #003Team AllocationZERO
- #004LiquidityBURNED
- #005Launched OnDEGENSAFE
- #006MissionBURN THE CASINO
Trust nothing. Trust no one. Verify the contract before you swap.
Federal Bureau of Degen Investigation · Public Affairs Division
Share Kit — Spread the Case
Pump.fun has thousands of victims. Most don't yet know there's a way out. Use the materials below to put this dossier on every timeline. One share is one recruit. One recruit is one less bag held. Make it loud.
Section A — One-click broadcast
Section B — Pre-written ammunition
pump.fun built a casino, rigged the table, and called it a launchpad. stop bleeding. LAUNCH ON DEGENSAFE TODAY under $FPF. the migration is happening with or without you ↓
every rug. every ghosted dev. every fee skimmed off your last $50. that's pump.fun's business model. burn it down. LAUNCH ON DEGENSAFE TODAY. $FPF leads. you follow.
Section C — Field badges (download & post)
Tip: post the badge + paste the dossier link. Tag pump.fun. Tag DegenSafe. Tag everyone you know who got rugged.
Section D — Personalize your badge
Personalized 1080×1080 PNG. Post it. Tag the bureau. Recruit replacements.
By order of the $FPF mob
WANTED
accomplices & co-conspirators · reward: a seat at the table